Years ago, when my stepson was only six years old, he told me something I have never forgotten. He said “It’s harder for boys.”
I intuitively knew what he meant in that moment. And at the same time, I was well aware that it is also harder for girls.
Both genders (all genders) suffer because we have rigid definitions of what it means to be a boy or a girl. We expect people to step into the gender roles we assign them based upon their genitals. And that happens even today with all our talk of equality and choice.
Given how different our childhoods tend to be, I suppose it’s not surprising that men and women can have very different perspectives about gender and consent. As you will see, those differences abound in this online video conversation between Tomer Applebaum and me about Gender Roles and Rape.
Some of the questions we address include:
How do we protect our girls from rape without blaming the victim?
Are false rape accusations a problem?
Can we learn something about consent from the BDSM community?
You should know that this video includes frank talk about my own rapes. In my opinion, it is crucial that we share our sexual assault stories. This is one way to remove the stigma and the shame that is often borne by survivors. It is after all what #MeToo is all about – bringing the truth out in the open so we can heal the trauma and hold perpetrators responsible.
But let’s not stop there. Let’s keep this conversation going so we can create a culture of true consent and sexual healing for all genders!
Here for Your Health and Happiness,
Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM
Your Guide to Exquisite Partnership™
P.S. Here’s the link to the video. Don’t forget to leave your comments and help us take this conversation further.