No matter how much we love someone, they can do and say things that irritate us, or even arouse some intense feelings of anger. In those moments, it’s tempting to demand an apology. Of course, some of us prefer to ignore our irritation, hoping it will go away. But either strategy, cheats us of the opportunity to enjoy emotional intimacy with the people we care about the most.
You might know that and perhaps you have even learned better ways to handle conflict and show up authentically. If so, good for you!
And I want to offer another tool for your relationship toolbox: something that can take you even deeper in your quest for personal growth and ecstatic connection with those you love.
Allow me to introduce you to Dr. Susan Campbell. She’s an amazingly wise and broadly experienced therapist, author and lecturer.
Dr. Campbell is the author of eleven books including her latest, “From Triggered to Tranquil: How Self-Compassion and Mindful Presence Can Transform Relationship Conflicts and Heal Childhood Wounds.”
She has appeared on CNN and Good Morning America. And she has guest lectured at Harvard, Stanford and other academic institutions. She not only works with clients in her private practice but also consults Fortune 500 companies!
While her credentials may be impressive, what I like most about her, is the wisdom that emanates from her. There really is no substitute for experience and she has that in spades.
Here’s some of what she shares with us in this video:
How most people are run by their fear of emotional pain.
Why we are either communicating from our higher brain or our survival brain.
How the fight-flight-freeze response affect a romantic relationship.
How we can be sure we aren’t projecting our stuff on our partner if we remind them they are triggered.
How we can support our partner when they get triggered.
The Pause-Calm-Inquire-Repair process and why it works.
What to do when you, as a parent, are triggered by your own children.
How Dr. Campbell’s advice can help those of us who are experiencing fear or anxiety about the world situation.
And how we can experience less conflict with others in these very polarized times!
If you find value in the insights and techniques she shares in this interview, please leave a comment here or directly on my YouTube channel. Your questions are always welcome too!