What will you do while the world is celebrating Valentine’s Day?
Will you share an intimate evening with your special someone? Or simply send a sexy card to a favorite crush? Or maybe you’ll curl up in front of a romantic comedy all alone?
For some women, the holiday might feel a little different in the wake of the #MeToo movement. So many of us are painfully aware of the many times we felt creeped out or had to deal with a clueless guy who might have meant well but nevertheless managed to overstep our boundaries and leave us feeling annoyed, irritated, disgusted or perhaps even hurt or harmed.
Unlike some, I absolutely believe that #MeToo is for men as well as women. I want awareness of healthy boundaries and respectful interactions for ALL genders. I know that men have also had their boundaries violated. So we truly need mixed gender conversations about boundaries and desire. But how do we get there?
Particularly when we don’t know how to tell the person we like or love how we really feel, what we really want and what we don’t want?
I believe the major obstacles we face when it comes to healthy communication of our boundaries and desires are shame and our need for connection. Too often we might feel torn between “creating a conflict” or “putting up” with things that make us uncomfortable. When we do so to protect our jobs, that might make sense. But what about silently enduring things we don’t enjoy in our closest relationships?
In those relationships, we might be tempted to share the so-called “positive” thoughts and emotions while trying to avoid anything others might see as “negative.” But that only reveals a small part of us and so we are essentially invisible to the people we want most to be close to.
Whatever you do this Valentine’s Day, my hope for you is that you will feel fully empowered to show up with all of your truth and all the healthy boundaries that will enable you to feel safe and loved. You deserve that and so do the people who care about you.
Here for Your Health and Happiness,
Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM
Your Guide to Exquisite Partnership™