We all have desires. Some of us work really hard to make our desires a reality. Others of us, feel discouraged before we’ve even begun. When we feel discouraged, it can be tempting to turn to avoidance patterns that momentarily quell our discontent. Of course, that usually leads to even less of what we want.
Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of coping styles, chances are you have experienced frustration and discouragement when you weren’t able to manifest your desires.
Life has a way of humbling us with reality. So the steps I outline below won’t circumvent fate or circumstances. We do have to live life on life’s terms and sometimes that involves accepting things that are beyond our control.
That said, the steps below have been my trusted friends for many years now and I know they work.
How do they work?
They help clear the way to your best future. That future will look different for each of us and it will vary depending upon what stage of life we are experiencing. But you can trust these steps to manifest your best self regardless of what is happening around you.
And more often than not, your desires will also materialize.
Just remember the old adage: be careful what you ask for because you just might get it!
And have fun. After all, having fun is one of your desires. Isn’t it?
This is where you will make a list of all the situations and people that have created ill feelings for you. The goal is to let go of your resentments because resentments will block your flow.
Get out an actual piece of paper and write out the names of the people and the descriptions of the incidents that you can recall. If it comes to mind, then it is still taking up space in your head and heart. However, you are not trying to forget. Nor are you trying to “forgive.”
Let’s say someone hit you. Aside from the fact that it is the crime of assault, it is also a darn good reason to hold a grudge. But a grudge or resentment only hurts you. A lot of people know this, so they try to forgive and forget. That is a mistake.
If you simply forgive you won’t learn how to assert your healthy boundaries. And if you forget, you will doom yourself to attract the same kinds of abusive people into your life over and over again.
If you forgive AFTER you learn how to assert your healthy boundaries and AFTER you have fully felt your anger or rage, then and only then can forgiveness take place in a way that is authentic and healing. So never “try” to forgive. Allow forgiveness to come in its own time as a byproduct of processing your feelings and learning to assert healthy boundaries.
The most powerful thing you can do to create flow in your life is to take responsibility for your part! That means refocusing your attention from those other people to how you felt and behaved when you interacted with them; and then looking for your part in the incident.
Going back to the example where someone hit you, your part in that incident could look any number of ways. But be careful. You don’t want to victim blame. Sometimes your part is how you hung out with a jerk and allowed them to violate your boundaries. Getting clear on the ways you have caused yourself harm is huge!
And you get to make amends to yourself! The best way to make amends to anyone including yourself is to NOT do it again. In most cases, promises don’t mean much. Saying you are sorry and promising not to do it again can be code for “please forgive me so I can do it again.”
An amends is actual change and change often requires learning new habits and patterns and ways of being. That often involves therapy or coaching because few of us can learn new patterns of being and behaving unless someone shows us how.
So whatever you resolve not to do again, take concrete steps to LEARN a new pattern of behavior. Don’t try to “control yourself” or shame yourself into doing better. Instead, love yourself into a new way of being and be sure to ask someone who has already made the journey to share how they did it.
This process of cleaning your emotional house needs to be a regular part of your self-care. Notice if you have any resentments at the end of every day. If so, write it down before you go to sleep. You may obtain immediate clarity on the matter. Or it might require sleeping on it but don’t let the matter slide. Make sure you are cleaning house regularly so you don’t block your flow!
Conjuring requires at least one other person but can involve a group of people. You can also refer to this as Master Minding but I like the feminine Conjuring.
It is essential that you select a partner or partners for this that are just as scrupulous about their spiritual path as you are. In other words, you don’t want to conjure or master mind with anyone who is dishonest or addicted to a substance or prefers to complain about circumstances and others.
You will be sharing energy with this person or these people – the kind of energy that creates flow and manifests outcomes. If you partner with anyone who lacks character, your results will be affected by their negative energy.
Look for someone who is already manifesting something that you admire and ask them if they would like to meet with you once a week or once a month to share goals and affirmations. You can meet over the phone, online or in person.
Where you meet doesn’t matter but the commitment to sharing deeply with each other is key. Don’t just recite the goals you have set for yourself.
Instead, explore the fears that are holding you back. And listen for the ways your conjuring or mastermind partner could be sabotaging themselves.
In this way, you can help each other move past blocks to desired outcomes. This will require deep honesty and the courage to speak your true desires in their full glory.
The hardest part of this exercise is not admitting your flaws. It is claiming your dreams.
So practice speaking with the knowledge that you deserve anything your heart truly desires as long as it doesn’t adversely affect yourself or others.
Remember that you DO deserve your heart’s desires because this is where you are of the greatest service to others. And being of service to others and this planet we call home is the larger goal every single one of us was born to. We are just trying to find the clarity and courage to fulfill our specific purpose for being here within that broader mission!
And that is why conjuring or masterminding is so essential. Because none of us is meant to do this alone, we do best when we are humble and oriented to serving others. We are meant to help each other achieve our purpose for being born.
In the service of others, we find our own fulfillment and prosperity. I am not referring to non-profits and charities although if that IS your purpose, more power to you. I AM referring to how being of service to others creates flow that benefits your health and your prosperity.
While I encourage you to be selective about whom you agree to conjure or mastermind with, please don’t be judgmental. We are all works in progress so look for someone who possess knowledge or a skillset that you do not have. This will complement the knowledge and skillsets that you do have And it will help you stay humble which is an important attribute to foster when you want to open the floodgates to your prosperity.
Veronica Monet, ACS