When I finally sobered up and extricated myself from an abusive relationship, I knew I needed help. That same year Melody Beattie published her book, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. The year was 1986 and Melody’s book was very popular in recovery circles. I found her …
Has anyone ever told you that you feel “too much?” Are you sometimes overwhelmed by the pain in the world? Over the years, did you learn to avert your eyes so others wouldn’t feel uncomfortable? And, have you noticed how often they count on you to know what they are feeling even and especially when …
I wanted our family to have a different kind of holiday celebration. For me, Christmas had become materialistic and I wanted us to redirect our attention to love. I thought it would be fun if we each brought photos and memorabilia to share. Then, in my vision of holiday perfection, we would all gather around …
My relationship troubles began long before I ever entered into a romantic relationship. My parents were locked into a violent and abusive marriage that trained me to believe there are winners and losers – victims and perpetrators in all relationships. Because of my training, I only knew how to submit to my partner’s wishes or …
I have only been in love – truly, deeply in love – twice in my life. So I can be extremely tenacious when the inevitable challenges to relationship arise. I don’t give up easily. I don’t walk away at the first sign of trouble. When I was much younger, I hoped that the intensity of …
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Veronica Monet, ACS
The Shame Free Zone
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