Why Rape Survivors Don’t Do What We Think They “Should” Do

The sexual assault allegations that catapulted the hashtag #MeToo into a viral phenomenon reshaped our collective consciousness around consent; and yet our culture and our laws are still mired in the same old victim blaming that has prevented any meaningful movement toward a sexual landscape that would afford us the safety and clarity that we …

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Do Boys Have It Harder Than Girls?

Years ago, when my stepson was only six years old, he told me something I have never forgotten. He said “It’s harder for boys.” I intuitively knew what he meant in that moment. And at the same time, I was well aware that it is also harder for girls. Both genders (all genders) suffer because …

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How Does Gender Training Affect Consent?

Years ago, when my stepson was only six years old, he told me something I have never forgotten. He said “It’s harder for boys.” I intuitively knew what he meant in that moment. And at the same time, I was well aware that it is also harder for girls. Both genders (all genders) suffer because …

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Steps Sexual Abuse Survivors Can Take to Feel Safe and Sexy

As we continue to digest the sweeping changes taking shape in our world in the wake of the US presidential election and other political shifts around the globe, it is my sincere hope that we can find our center through loving connection with ourselves and others. There are many threads to that and I am …

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Requiem for my Father

He said he loved me. He said he could never hurt me. He told me that I was his special little girl. He was my dad and I believed him until . . . Until he made me pose naked for his camera when I was five years old. Until he kicked the two-legged cat …

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How One Rape Survivor Learned to Live Life without Shame

TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains details about a gang rape as told by the rape survivor. Susie Chin is a very courageous woman. She is also a talented musician. I first became aware of her when I heard her music. I was drawn to her album, Shameless, because I myself have devoted my life to …

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